An Open Letter to My Fellow Empaths

It’s time to embrace your inner warrior.

I belong to multiple Facebook groups for empaths and intuitives and noticed so many describing relationships with toxic people. I can’t even count how many posts state something like: ‘Please pray for me, I finally summoned the courage to leave him/her.’ Sending love and light, especially those who are still engaged in that very real struggle.

During a recent meeting of our meditation group, narcissism was the selected topic. Every person around the table had one or more intense stories to share, stories of pain but also stories of triumph and growth.

On the recommendation of a close friend, I found myself reading Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ classic, ‘Women who Run with the Wolves’. I was immediately struck by how the author, who upon writing this book over twenty years ago, casts light on the mythological figure of Bluebeard as the sociopathic antagonist to the young, naïve gentlewoman.

Much has been written about the empath-narcissist dynamic, which impacts so many on such a personal level. However, let’s take a deep breath and step back for a moment to observe this on a much larger scale.

Why are so many of the same references emerging in our world right now?

As a global culture, we’re traversing some of the most difficult energetic situations. It seems like we’re constantly exposed to the energy of violence, divisiveness, inequality, war and separation. Positively, we’re also experiencing one of the greatest surges in mass consciousness in modern history. Multitudes are awakening to a greater understanding of our role as spiritual beings, of our purpose here on this planet.

We’ve begun to ask truly imperative questions like:

·        Who will we become as we move forward into the future?

·        As a society, will we continue to concern ourselves, with just ourselves?

·        Or will we learn to make decisions that honor both our individual and collective needs?

While it can certainly be a challenging time to be an empath [we feel absolutely everything until we learn how to enact healthy energetic boundaries]. It’s also, in my opinion, precisely why perceptive souls are here.

What if collectively and in loving support of each other, we don our energetic armor, strengthen our resolve and embrace our inner warriors?

As a self-proclaimed pacifist, it’s been a long and winding road to come to terms with my inner warrior. Battle seems like the type of environment where I could easily be enticed to morph into someone I’m not proud of. I believe this is our greatest empath fear. That amid the fight, we will begin to exhibit the same spiteful characteristics as the ‘enemy’.

Until we recognize the only real enemy is the one inside ourselves.

One of the most profound insights I’ve read about this topic was recently posted on an empath forum (author kept anonymous for privacy):

‘An empath has to learn to love and embrace oneself completely. Then, when they trust themselves, they will not be attracted to the kind of ill treatment expressed by narc. The way a narc treats an empath is usually reflective of how the empath talks to themselves inside. It could be an inner bully-thinking voice that was adopted from an earlier childhood abuse or the like. So, empaths on some inner level agree with the bad treatment and already believe they are not “good enough.” How a narc treats them actually resonates with them. Instead, they have to learn to fall in love with themselves. Then the inner dialogue changes and they attract a person who reflects their inner health and treats them well on the outside. Narcs have their hearts completely closed, so the empath is drawn in to heal their wound. But really, empaths need to heal their own wounds with self-love.’

The longest distance on our journey to empowerment is exactly what she just described: learning to trust and believe in ourselves.

Listening to your intuition, receptive to every message meant for you.

Believing you deserve a great life filled with loving, healthy and reciprocal relationships. Once you internalize this new awareness, you will never go back. I invite you to join me in the following empath affirmation:

I have faith in every situation that I bring the intention to think, feel, speak and act in the highest good for myself and others. Certainly, I will make mistakes. Sometimes, I may even inadvertently say something hurtful. I will take responsibility when I do, ask for forgiveness and apply that learning forward.

I am not responsible for others’ emotions, problems or challenges: only my own. Each person must step forward to tackle their own life lessons. I will not take learning and growth away from another by trying to fix or rescue them.

I will trust my inner knowing, when I hear that wise, still truth and when I feel in my body that something’s not right. I will use my voice as a powerful weapon, not to hurt or maim but to uplift and strengthen. I will go to battle on behalf of my own inner spirit, my beautiful light. I am meant to glow, to shine, to radiate and I will not be dimmed!

Our world is poised on the edge of a threshold, between what we’ve known for so long (territorial, warring, self-serving) and endless possibilities for peace, love and respect. A world in which we empathize with each other, consider our choices carefully and treat each other with a gentleness and compassion befitting a unified and evolved human race.

The shift begins with you, my empathic friend.

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